Helping Your Teen After A Breakup
Healing After Heartache..
So your teen just experienced her first heartache.. Read these tips below on ways to be supportive in the days that follow…
HEAR THEM OUT... allow them to talk, cry, yell, and cry some more.. Uninterrupted... It hurts.. It's painful.. It doesn't matter whether or not this is a 13-yr-old or an 18-yr-old who was engaged.. pain is pain.. And all pain feels personal to the one experiencing it!
SAVE YOUR ADVICE UNLESS SOLICITED... yes, as parents, we are experts on this as we have already been there and done that; however, this is not the time to share your wisdom unless asked.. Your teen just wants to be seen, heard, and validated.. There will be a time for you to share all of your epic experiences and learned lessons later.. I promise..
3. GIVE THEM SPACE... space for a teen doesn't always indicate depression or danger.. Some need to pull away and into themselves to figure it out or talk to their friends or veg out on Netflix.. If it lingers more than a few days and they haven't shown any signs of progress, then you can get concerned.. Otherwise, just check in on them and offer them comfort (in whatever form they prefer), and let them know you are there.
4. STAY QUIET... Parents can grieve during break-ups too; however, this is not cause for a Facebook post or expressing how much you will miss so and so.. nor is it the time to attack the one who broke your teens heart.. Remember the importance of the first two on this list...
5. ANYTHING GOES IN THE FIRST 24HRS... Maybe your teen will want to hang close to you.. let her... Maybe your teen will want to go hang with friends.. let him.. Maybe your teen will want to have ice cream and watch a funny movie.. let her.. Maybe your teen will want to go outside and shoot hoops.. let him.. You don't handle your pains exactly the same as other adults and your teen won't handle her pain the same as other teens either..